Today, on my lunch break, I made a phone call to an old friend of mine who I had seen only twice this year... He began talking about these people he knows and how a LOT of people are just getting old without mentally "growing up". He attributed all of this "mental failure" to the fact that "weak people" are reproducing. I know what you're thinking, and you're right; that statement sounds completely wrong, but how he packaged this presentation of words was a little thought provoking.
He basically stated that, before the lust within our world went completely rampant, there was somewhat of a subconscious selection process in which, if you were not either mentally or physically strong and healthy, your "weakness" died with you. But now?! Now, if you have working sexual organs it's almost inevitable that you will have "sexy time" and possibly a lineage as long as the grandest of kings; leading to combinations of "brilliant and lazy", "beautiful and dumb", "motivated and unskilled", "physically strong and weak willed", "high IQ with a low EQ", etc.
So here is the question: Has lust completely overridden the selection process and sexual attraction superseded the need for emotional and mental stability?
I wanted to argue with him and say "No, our world has not gone that far" but the more I thought about many of the single people I know of (not to mention the people I see talking on Twitter) and the stories that people tell me, the more I began to slowly weaken my stance. Lust does run rampant and almost completely unrestrained.
There is a part of me that truly hopes that this mental and moral degradation of our nation that seemed to start after the Baby Boomers is just a phase that can be shaken off in a couple decades with a few marathons of Electric Circus, Sesame Street, and a good Christian Bible.
The other part of me?!
The other part of me is just praying that the first part of me is right...
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
Over-Romanticized
So the other day I posed the question to a few co-workers of mine... I asked: Do you think romantic comedies have ruined love? The reason I ask is because a LOT of people seem to have this "over-romanticized" picture of love and relationships in their minds when, in actuality, that "Love and Basketball" love rarely ever happens! If that story would've been real, that fella would NOT have been outside hooping with her late at night on the night before his wedding and they DEFINITELY wouldn't have been "magically" married a few years later. Instead, she would have been single hoping she could "kick it" with him when he came in town and he probably would been well on his way to Divorce Court after marrying a woman that he just "liked" while still being in love with the girl he originally loved. But of course Hollywood wasn't going to tell the story like that because, if they did, they wouldn't have sold nearly as many tickets and they could forget about DVD sales.
The point of my question, to which they answered no, was not to promote pessimism, but to bring attention to the fact that many of us are completely delusional. I go on twitter quite often to see women speak of the type of men they want and what they want them to look like and what they want them to have, etc. On the outside of the laundry list that is their idea of the perfect man, there are some of them who complain about every dude that tries to talk to them; denying seemingly everyone because they don't like "this" or they don't wanna deal with "that" before even giving "this" or "that" a chance. And among this you get the occasional lonely tweet; the "I wish 'HE' was here" (or anybody else for that matter) or the "I'm tired of being single".
And I say to myself: "Self"
Myself say: "Huh?"
I say: "Through all my years of dealing with BS, this year especially, the one thing I learned is that most of us are full of crap. Some of our crap stinks a WHOLE LOT WORSE than others but, for the most part you WILL have to deal with something."
And that's the honest to God truth. I ain't saying stay in no mess where you're being abused, or all of his money going to child support and he expects you to pay every time yall go out, or she got a baby daddy that she live with but they're just "roommates" (LOL), or he's a pathological liar who cant keep his "manhood" in his pants. What I am saying is this.... Give a regular person a chance. I know SO many good females and males who actually WANT a relationship but tend to let good things fall by the wayside because the person doesn't meet that specific criteria that they have set up in their minds as the type of person they "deserve" when deep down inside, they're full of crap too.
Don't believe it?! Alright. Ask yourself this: when was the last time you dated what the popular peers of our society deems a "lame" and actually tried to make it work?
I'll wait...
Now, I know what you're thinking, that sounds like settling, and you don't want to settle. But before you call it settling, lets re-examine the things that would make someone lame:
1. Socially unpopular - Nobody in this world wants somebody that NOBODY in this world wants... But answer this: Do you really want somebody everybody wants or has had? Think about it...
2. Not enough money - this is resolved quickly by answering the following questions: "How old are they", "Do they have ANY goals that may resolve this issue", and "Are they legitimately trying?" If you can answer yes to each of those questions, re-evaluate your decision. If not... politely tell the loser to kick rocks.
3. Inability to dress - completely superficial. Go shopping with them. Buy the clothes if you have to and tell them they look awesome in it to boost their self esteem. Not a good excuse.
Honorable mention:
Not cute - It IS important to be physically attracted to them; the face most of all... but if the rest of their body ain't "perfect" you CAN take them to the gym. Even still, I can't be a reasonable person and tell you to be with someone you can't stand to look at in the face. Can't really use this as a defining characteristic of lame though, because there are some VERY ugly popular people in this world.
At any rate, the point I'm trying to make is that your dream person may not be your "dream" person. It may not come together the exact way that you want it to, in the exact package that you want it to come in. They may be short; they may be tall. They may be big; they may be small. They could be hood; they could be rich. But don't judge a book by its cover. You need to locate the person that has an earnest willingness to be a perfect person. The main reason for leaving someone alone who you just met for the first time, barring bad hygiene, bad genetics or obvious psychotic issues, is horrible character and personality. I understand this reason for letting someone go but, to be honest, this is something that still it takes a little bit of time to accurately access and, in order to do so, you would have to first give them a shot. If you can find absolutely NOTHING in common with that person, fine. Let them go. But chances are you'll be able to find something yall can do together.
The point of my question, to which they answered no, was not to promote pessimism, but to bring attention to the fact that many of us are completely delusional. I go on twitter quite often to see women speak of the type of men they want and what they want them to look like and what they want them to have, etc. On the outside of the laundry list that is their idea of the perfect man, there are some of them who complain about every dude that tries to talk to them; denying seemingly everyone because they don't like "this" or they don't wanna deal with "that" before even giving "this" or "that" a chance. And among this you get the occasional lonely tweet; the "I wish 'HE' was here" (or anybody else for that matter) or the "I'm tired of being single".
And I say to myself: "Self"
Myself say: "Huh?"
I say: "Through all my years of dealing with BS, this year especially, the one thing I learned is that most of us are full of crap. Some of our crap stinks a WHOLE LOT WORSE than others but, for the most part you WILL have to deal with something."
And that's the honest to God truth. I ain't saying stay in no mess where you're being abused, or all of his money going to child support and he expects you to pay every time yall go out, or she got a baby daddy that she live with but they're just "roommates" (LOL), or he's a pathological liar who cant keep his "manhood" in his pants. What I am saying is this.... Give a regular person a chance. I know SO many good females and males who actually WANT a relationship but tend to let good things fall by the wayside because the person doesn't meet that specific criteria that they have set up in their minds as the type of person they "deserve" when deep down inside, they're full of crap too.
Don't believe it?! Alright. Ask yourself this: when was the last time you dated what the popular peers of our society deems a "lame" and actually tried to make it work?
I'll wait...
Now, I know what you're thinking, that sounds like settling, and you don't want to settle. But before you call it settling, lets re-examine the things that would make someone lame:
1. Socially unpopular - Nobody in this world wants somebody that NOBODY in this world wants... But answer this: Do you really want somebody everybody wants or has had? Think about it...
2. Not enough money - this is resolved quickly by answering the following questions: "How old are they", "Do they have ANY goals that may resolve this issue", and "Are they legitimately trying?" If you can answer yes to each of those questions, re-evaluate your decision. If not... politely tell the loser to kick rocks.
3. Inability to dress - completely superficial. Go shopping with them. Buy the clothes if you have to and tell them they look awesome in it to boost their self esteem. Not a good excuse.
Honorable mention:
Not cute - It IS important to be physically attracted to them; the face most of all... but if the rest of their body ain't "perfect" you CAN take them to the gym. Even still, I can't be a reasonable person and tell you to be with someone you can't stand to look at in the face. Can't really use this as a defining characteristic of lame though, because there are some VERY ugly popular people in this world.
At any rate, the point I'm trying to make is that your dream person may not be your "dream" person. It may not come together the exact way that you want it to, in the exact package that you want it to come in. They may be short; they may be tall. They may be big; they may be small. They could be hood; they could be rich. But don't judge a book by its cover. You need to locate the person that has an earnest willingness to be a perfect person. The main reason for leaving someone alone who you just met for the first time, barring bad hygiene, bad genetics or obvious psychotic issues, is horrible character and personality. I understand this reason for letting someone go but, to be honest, this is something that still it takes a little bit of time to accurately access and, in order to do so, you would have to first give them a shot. If you can find absolutely NOTHING in common with that person, fine. Let them go. But chances are you'll be able to find something yall can do together.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Just to survive...
Ok... So I am officially NOT feeling this economy... I mean... I already hated it because of how fast the price of a loaf of bread is increasing and how my paycheck keeps magically declining at the same time, but that's another issue.
This man pictured above, also known as the "black power Olympian", is now selling his gold medal. I DO NOT LIKE THIS! How, after all these years of being looked at as almost an icon in black history for making this statement, can you sell the very thing you fought SO HARD to obtain; through the numerous struggles in an effort to simply be considered an equal human being; during a time of segregation and extreme prejudice?! You make a statement like this and now you need a little money and say you want to "share it with the people"?!?
No.
You don't want to share it with the people... The economy has completely bankrupt you and this is all you have left; so you sacrifice a priceless item and throw it to the wolves for them to devour. All I can do is shake my head... This is sad... and no, I don't blame President Obama, nor do I expect him to be a "savior" because he inherited this garbage of an economy from 8 YEARS of Bush and Cheney; who both spent their entire time in office preparing the nation for their own personal retirement. This isn't a Democrat or Republican thing; this is a "we need to figure something out before ALL of us end up in the soup bowl line singing the theme song for The Jefferson's like it was 'We Shall Overcome'" type of thing. This is the time where you can have a job and TWO legitimate "side hustles", like many who I know, and STILL be under employed.
I honestly feel sorry for him... And, although I posed the "how could this be" type of question above, I also completely understand his move. Unfair as it may be, I guess you gotta do what you gotta do in order to get where you gotta get; or in this case, just to survive.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
For Better Or Worse...
So I'm looking at this article and its talking about how these top 400 people have to deal with the devastating readjustment of gaining only 2 percent profit verses their usual double digit yearly profit. It goes on to describe how that 2% equates to about $30 million aka "enough to provide 500,000 school teacher jobs at $60k per year". This writer from the Huffington post goes down the list to describe the many things that this 2% increase, which was a poor year for them, could take care of and some of it is astonishing. Please read it.
Here's another article from yahoo talking about the income gap. And while it looks at things from a slightly different point of view, the bottom line is still the same: poor people are going further into the negative and the rich people are still getting paid. It speaks on the unemployed... but what the average person isn't considering is the underemployed who have a job but still can't make ends meet... Nor are they talking about the discouraged labor force; those who are able bodied and of a good working age but have quit looking because of continued disappointment. Those numbers aren't included in that "Unemployment" rate.
My conclusion: something has got to change... and I ain't talking about "Obama" change. I'm speaking of change in the system that runs America over all. Welfare doesn't encourage people to become employed. Middle class is becoming a thing of the past as inflation is increasing at a much faster pace than the salaries of the average person. The "poor" are getting poorer and an "underclass" is developing. The "underclass" are people who can't afford to survive or get the education to gain access the better opportunities and have to get by on the mentality of "by any means necessary" aka "Your door is being kicked in on a Tuesday afternoon and they are robbing you for 5 dollars and a pack a cigarettes."
And no, I'm not promoting what some consider "Socialism"; I'm just pointing out that what is currently in place ain't working... "Share" is real easy to say but, realistically speaking, not one of those 400 will voluntarily dramatically reduce their standard of living for the sake of some strangers who they probably consider lazy. There is no incentive and people just aren't "nice" like that anymore. You will die of starvation before you get a handout.
But maybe I'm just rambling and overreacting....
Here's another article from yahoo talking about the income gap. And while it looks at things from a slightly different point of view, the bottom line is still the same: poor people are going further into the negative and the rich people are still getting paid. It speaks on the unemployed... but what the average person isn't considering is the underemployed who have a job but still can't make ends meet... Nor are they talking about the discouraged labor force; those who are able bodied and of a good working age but have quit looking because of continued disappointment. Those numbers aren't included in that "Unemployment" rate.
My conclusion: something has got to change... and I ain't talking about "Obama" change. I'm speaking of change in the system that runs America over all. Welfare doesn't encourage people to become employed. Middle class is becoming a thing of the past as inflation is increasing at a much faster pace than the salaries of the average person. The "poor" are getting poorer and an "underclass" is developing. The "underclass" are people who can't afford to survive or get the education to gain access the better opportunities and have to get by on the mentality of "by any means necessary" aka "Your door is being kicked in on a Tuesday afternoon and they are robbing you for 5 dollars and a pack a cigarettes."
And no, I'm not promoting what some consider "Socialism"; I'm just pointing out that what is currently in place ain't working... "Share" is real easy to say but, realistically speaking, not one of those 400 will voluntarily dramatically reduce their standard of living for the sake of some strangers who they probably consider lazy. There is no incentive and people just aren't "nice" like that anymore. You will die of starvation before you get a handout.
But maybe I'm just rambling and overreacting....
Friday, October 1, 2010
The "Beautiful People" Problem
A while ago, I'm watching TV with my sister and saw where some study was done by some college somewhere in the U.S. of A. (wish I could find the study) that said that the happiest couples/marriages are those that are composed of an ugly/homelylooking man and a gorgeous woman. Now, when I heard this, it seemed to be more evidence to support a belief that I've had for about 7 years now; two "beautiful" people can't be together. I've had my share of arguments with friends of every shape size and color about this. They disagree with me, but Ive had a stance that it takes a miracle for two "beautiful" people to be together for quite a while now. And now this study is co-signing with their "Ugly men make the best husbands" report.
A lot of my mentality came from watching and over hearing the issues that my mother's and sister's friends would talk to them about. They would call with some crazy sob story about how some sorry fella done sat back and done something ridiculous to them but they still love them and can't "get them out of their system". You know, that BS "so deep in this blind and blissful love" mentality they developed from listening to too much Babyface as a teenager. Sometimes I even got sucked in to talking to them about their problems so they could get a "guy's perspective" on the situation. After looking at these girls and women, between the ages of 16 and 45, I noticed that they all had one of two very common denominators: either they were ugly and they didn't know it, so they continued to strive for some guy who was out of their league and tried to play everyone else OR they were beautiful and didn't understand that, with the scarcity of good (100% straight) men in conjunction with the fact that 75% of single women on this earth will do almost ANYTHING to have one of those, they just might wanna deal with the guy who genuinely loves them instead of trying to hold on to this dream guy that they've been searching for for the last 15 years since they divorced their last husband.
QUESTION: Do you know any "Popular Jock/Cheerleader" couples that survived after high school?!? Cause I don't. They don't survive. (Especially if the fella didn't go to the pros...)
The problem comes along with the term "Superficiality". You see, I'm a good looking guy. So I know there's this mentality deep down inside of every good looking person that says "this person better not mess up, cause if they do, I promise I'm finna upgrade the first opportunity I get!" And that's how it goes. An endless cycle of someone waiting on the other party to mess up cause they weren't ever happy to begin with. There's also fact that a woman trying to find a good looking man who ain't gone cheat these days is like trying to find a prostitute without aids in Swaziland, Africa; possible, but few and far between.
I know this lady; She's got to be a good 47 - 48 years old now. She got this guy who likes her and this fella is a straight square, but he tries SO hard to impress her. I mean, this guy worships the ground she walks on and she lets him try but continues to shoot him down. Now, the sad part is that he didn't learn what I learned so long ago - beautiful people who haven't learned how to deal with the "Beautiful People Problem" will never be with someone society deems as "normal". Its nothing he did, its just the facts. As long as she feels like she deserves Male #1, anything less than Male #1 is settling and a person of her caliber can't be with just anybody. The situation is further complicated because Male #1 don't wanna settle down cause he wants to be 100% sure he got all of his "escapades" outta his system before he gets locked into some mess. She can't understand why Male #1 won't settle down, even though she's doing everything he ask and everything she possibly can to please him. And her woes wont end until she realizes that Male #2 is trying just as hard for her as she is for Male #1, stops looking at his flaws and starts looking at the fact that she finally has somebody in her life who ain't gone put her second. She ain't figured that out yet, so she's gonna be single for a while. She is the middle piece holding together the "Beautiful People" Problem.
Disclaimer: This may only apply to large cities where the number of good looking men is much smaller in proportion to beautiful women AND ugly people with a "false self-image" (read: don't know they're ugly) and beautiful people with low self-esteem can throw a monkey wrench into the equation...
But what do I know?
A lot of my mentality came from watching and over hearing the issues that my mother's and sister's friends would talk to them about. They would call with some crazy sob story about how some sorry fella done sat back and done something ridiculous to them but they still love them and can't "get them out of their system". You know, that BS "so deep in this blind and blissful love" mentality they developed from listening to too much Babyface as a teenager. Sometimes I even got sucked in to talking to them about their problems so they could get a "guy's perspective" on the situation. After looking at these girls and women, between the ages of 16 and 45, I noticed that they all had one of two very common denominators: either they were ugly and they didn't know it, so they continued to strive for some guy who was out of their league and tried to play everyone else OR they were beautiful and didn't understand that, with the scarcity of good (100% straight) men in conjunction with the fact that 75% of single women on this earth will do almost ANYTHING to have one of those, they just might wanna deal with the guy who genuinely loves them instead of trying to hold on to this dream guy that they've been searching for for the last 15 years since they divorced their last husband.
QUESTION: Do you know any "Popular Jock/Cheerleader" couples that survived after high school?!? Cause I don't. They don't survive. (Especially if the fella didn't go to the pros...)
The problem comes along with the term "Superficiality". You see, I'm a good looking guy. So I know there's this mentality deep down inside of every good looking person that says "this person better not mess up, cause if they do, I promise I'm finna upgrade the first opportunity I get!" And that's how it goes. An endless cycle of someone waiting on the other party to mess up cause they weren't ever happy to begin with. There's also fact that a woman trying to find a good looking man who ain't gone cheat these days is like trying to find a prostitute without aids in Swaziland, Africa; possible, but few and far between.
I know this lady; She's got to be a good 47 - 48 years old now. She got this guy who likes her and this fella is a straight square, but he tries SO hard to impress her. I mean, this guy worships the ground she walks on and she lets him try but continues to shoot him down. Now, the sad part is that he didn't learn what I learned so long ago - beautiful people who haven't learned how to deal with the "Beautiful People Problem" will never be with someone society deems as "normal". Its nothing he did, its just the facts. As long as she feels like she deserves Male #1, anything less than Male #1 is settling and a person of her caliber can't be with just anybody. The situation is further complicated because Male #1 don't wanna settle down cause he wants to be 100% sure he got all of his "escapades" outta his system before he gets locked into some mess. She can't understand why Male #1 won't settle down, even though she's doing everything he ask and everything she possibly can to please him. And her woes wont end until she realizes that Male #2 is trying just as hard for her as she is for Male #1, stops looking at his flaws and starts looking at the fact that she finally has somebody in her life who ain't gone put her second. She ain't figured that out yet, so she's gonna be single for a while. She is the middle piece holding together the "Beautiful People" Problem.
Disclaimer: This may only apply to large cities where the number of good looking men is much smaller in proportion to beautiful women AND ugly people with a "false self-image" (read: don't know they're ugly) and beautiful people with low self-esteem can throw a monkey wrench into the equation...
But what do I know?
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